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anagoddess
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Name: anouk
Gender: Female
Interests: self deprivation, literature, psychology, philosophy, fashion, culinary arts, head- games, blogging, self mutilation, life after death, being right, scrapbooking, shopping for absolutely no reason, making unreasonable demands, poe, atwood, dickinson, world travel...um, other things
Expertise: not an expert at anything, well maybe being an annoying bitch, otherwise, nope, nothing.
Occupation: starving student
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/22/2003
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| so i ended up having another psychotic blowout at work. everything that was wrong in my life just seemed to culminate in that one moment when my manager deemed to criticize my folding. i did not give a shit what she thought, but it was the straw that broke the camels' back, i went on a rampage! i told her exactly what i thought of her (luckily she didn't take any of it too seriously). i'm genuinely surprised i wasn't fired. things went from bad to worse though...the stupid beanpole of a guy i'm still somewhat in love with(though i can't fathom why) decided to be chummy, "aren't we friends" he asks innocently, i wanted to punch him in the mouth. what the hell is wrong with me, i can't stand feeling emotionally unstable, but i can't control this...
i'm still in size 2, CW: 122 H:5'8 (and a bit)
thinspiration:
 
 
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| thinspiration:
 
 
 
 the first image i posted when i started xanga, and it remains my favorite.
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| i have not posted in an eternity, all the sites i was subscribed to have shut down and i am feeling very lonely. currently going out with a guy who seems to think i'm some sort of imbecil, my self esteem is shot to hell, my car has a flat, i'm just feeling...bleh
still wearing my size twos, and am not one pound closer to being a zero. i need some guidiance people! | | |
| i' m once again falling back into my bulimic patterns, i starve all
day, come home from work, have 2 or three glasses of water, yet, as
evening falls i sit down and calmly nibble on leftovers, i don't binge
per se but i feel full enough to actually warrant a significant amount
of guilt, i walk into the bathroom and gag myself with a spoon. i feel
it becoming routine, and my guilt just increases, i end up fasting the
next day, and repeating the whole fucked up pattern. i'm losing weight
but my body is taking a severe hit, the capillaries around my eyes
burst, the enamel on my teeth is being worn down further(i was severely
bulimic 2 years ago), even to the point that i can no longer use
whitening agents as mild as crest whitening strips, my blood pressure
is dangerously low and i'm nearly always fatigued, not to mention that
my mother keeps confronting me about my disease
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| thinspiration:
  linsay
lohan looks amazing, and nicole, well, yes, under 97, but she has a
fairly petite frame, and they both look so beautiful now...
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